It was inevitable...

Most people have done it.  They change their diet, and everything is going great.
But then, you have a moment where you want to go back to your old way of eating.  Some call it a cheat.  My wife calls it "living."

So, today was sort of a cheat day.  The wife and I, along with baby boy, headed out to breakfast with some friends.  I had an egg omelet with cheese and sausage, and a bowl of fruit.  I skipped the toast.  Probably should have skipped the cheese.  Seemed like there was a lot of cheese.

Lunch was whole wheat pizza with some pepperoni.  Low fat cheese.  One of those fundraiser pizzas.  After not having any pizza for a month, this tasted like a gift from Athena. 

And then came the deal-beaker.  Wendy's.  You might think, "oh noes!"

Well, I had a burger, with cheese, on a white bread bun, a cup of chili, and a diet soda.  I could have gone for fries, but I figured the burger was enough.

So now, I'm sitting in my recliner on the top floor, kind of regretting the burger.  I have that solid feeling in my stomach.  I feel like it's sticking out again.  This is not a good feeling.

I did take some time, while eating the burger, to savor it, just a little.  Still, it doesn't seem as if it was worth it.  I'm going to have to find a better cheat next time. 

Tomorrow is a new day.


On the right track..

I like to think that I'm an intense guy.  But, I know that I'm really not all that intense.  I have my passions, and my passions bring out the best in me. 

Some people are passionate about exercise.  I, for one, am not afraid to admit that I am not.  But, with DDIP, the passion is brought to you.  And if you just absorb a little of what's being thrown at you, you will open yourself up to more absorption.

So, when I wake up at 4:29am on the days of DDIP, I want to go back to bed.  I want to curl up with my wife and dog and not think about exercise.  I want to listen to my infant son coo and caw and get comfortable in his cradle.

But, as soon as my truck starts up and I start driving, I start feeling that energy.  I start to get excited about what is about to be thrust upon me, what's going to make me sweat and hurt and wear me down.

Today was a perfect example.  I see BBM walking in to the gym, and I felt myself get nervous.  Her workouts have been hard lately.  Not just DDIP hard.  We're talking making you do things you haven't done before, pushing yourself to a limit, and then exceeding that limit.  All the while, she's telling you to NOT GIVE UP, and to KEEP GOING.  To push through your mental block.  To exceed your own expectations.


The "diet" is going great.  I still have more sugar to cut out, but I'm treating this as a weaning process and not a cold turkey process. 

I believe I'm already down a fair amount, after two weeks of eating this way.

And, by "diet," I mean the following definition:


  1. The kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.


Still cookin'

Well, I do have one thing to admit.  I haven't weighed myself.  I'm embarrassed.  It's kind of strange being embarrassed by yourself, when nobody is around.  But, I don't want to see that number.  I want to wait some more time and see how I do.  Maybe after the first 30 days.  I officially started January 5th.

Last night, after going without dairy for 10 days or so, I tasted some sour cream.  It honestly tasted like somebody frothed a gold bar of nectar and placed it in my mouth.  It was rather incredible.  I didn't let myself have too much of it.  I have too many goals in front of me.

I'm not going to give up on this.  I'm just starting.  I will win.

My goal for this session in DDIP is two-fold.  1.  Get back to where I was.  I was strong before.  I just want to get stronger.  Be able to do those pushups again.  I came up with an exercise the other day that is going to require more strength before I show people.  I can't wait.  2.  At every single class, bring with it the fire I've had in the past.  Get people motivated.  Get people awake and alive.  Yell every class.  Let go of inhibition and be LOUD.

Every time I think I'm going to step back, my wife is there to make sure I'm doing the right things.  She wants me to weigh myself.  I think that if I do, I'll be able to resist the urge to go to Wendy's.



So, I went shopping last night.  For food. 

I noticed a very interesting thing about my experience.  Other than the fact that I don't know where ANYTHING is in the new store close to my house...

All of my shopping basket contents were from the outer perimeter of the store.  Not a single thing came from an aisle.  I  bought nothing in a box.  Or a can.

There can't be anything wrong with that.  I did spend a tiny amount of time in the freezer section, though, just to get some frozen vegetables. 

Tonight's menu includes:

  1. Roasted pork tenderloin
  2. Roasted sweet potatoes, peppers, onions, and other vegetables
  3. Some type of salad, with a vinagrette dressing
  4. Water (copious amounts)

I can feel the hunger in my stomach.  But I'm not exactly "hungry."  I think I'm a little "unfull."  When I lost 33 pounds on Weight Watchers several years ago, I remember feeling this way.  After the second week, I didn't feel that way any more.  So, I'm banking on this being a temporary situation.  I already feel less "sloshy" during workouts.  I know there hasn't been a major reduction, but I can feel the bloating go away.

Going to be a great weekend.


Day 3 - Knowing how far you have fallen

Today showed me how far down I've gone from where I once was.  Pushups are harder.  Leg lifts are nearly impossible.  Squat thrusts/burpees are unimaginable. But, today, I have to admit that I had some fire.  I led the warmup.  Tried to get the gang going (and myself), ready for BBM to thrash us around for an hour.

I still haven't made it to the grocery store yet.  Simply because the child has needs, and I need to be hanging out with the baby at night.  Something about that fatherly bond.  So, the plan is to go Thursday.  The Mrs. has already made a list.  I also haven't weighed myself in ages.  I guess I should, just to find out where I reside on the scale.

I forsee the most difficult thing being eliminating dairy from my diet.  And that's really just because we have SO MUCH DAIRY in the house right now.  And yes, it's delicious.

A few links to some resources:

Robb Wolf's website, the author of The Paleo Solution:

A Paleo Quick Start Guide:

A Paleo Shopping List:

Soon, I will do a review of The Paleo Solution.  Drill asked me to, and I said I would after implementing the diet for a while.  I think I'll do that sooner than later.


Day One

So, today is Day One.  Numero Uno.

The best way to describe it?  "You gotta start somewhere"

I remember when I started DDIP.  How I felt.  How I hurt.  How, when during exercises, I could feel my belly sloshing all over the place.

That's how I felt today.

After one month of eating bad food, not working out, I've taken a complete back step of where I was.  I felt awful.  I felt fatigued.  I felt like a fat guy.

I couldn't do the exercises.  I couldn't complete every set.  I had to take breaks.

And then, something happened.  Drill, who was leading the group, walked by me and said, "remember what your motivation is, Deano.  He's at home, sleeping in his crib."

I smiled.  It hit me.  It made me realize why I was there.  I'm not there for myself anymore.  I'm there for him.  I'm there to make myself better so I can be around a long time.

I didn't quit.  I didn't give up, other than take a few "breathers" during the class. 

I just kept thinking about that baby boy, all 7 and a half pounds of him.  About how we almost lost him.

In school circle, Drill pointed out that he and I had been in communication with each other.  Then he said he was taking me on as an AB.  We're going to work together for the next 8 weeks to get better.  To get healthier.  To start this party right.

I haven't stepped on a scale.  I'm afraid to.  But, like I said, you gotta start somewhere.  Weight is a NUMBER.  That's it.  I just have to make that number, whatever it is, start to shrink and get closer to where it needs to be.

And I know just the person who can help me.


The new year upon us...

When I started DDIP, I was heavy, out of shape, miserable.  We've talked about this.  Again and again.

I used the training to get stronger, faster, and lose some weight.  One thing I never really changed was my diet.  I wasn't interested.  I thought I was training hard enough that I didn't NEED to change anything.

Well, when the baby was born, I couldn't work out as much, and after a month of him being here, I've realized that I MUST CHANGE IT NOW.

I've read a book or two.  Now it's time to implement.  Not going to be easy.  Total change in approach and a completely different way to eat.

Eat to live.  Not live to eat.


Motivation Station

Motivation is a funny thing.  Some days you have it.  Some days you don't.  I like to think that I usually have it.  I'm usually that guy that people can turn to for a spark.  For a shout out.  For a smile.

Yesterday, I didn't have it.  I kept putting my knees down on the plank walk.  I had trouble with the stairs (my ankle still struggles with the shock of high impact exercises...)...but then...I arrived at the foam pit.

I hate that thing.  I swear at it.  I have hate in my heart when an instructor presents it to  us.  I loathe it, because I struggle with it.

When Rob showed it to us yesterday, I told myself, "if he thinks I'm going through that stupid thing, he can go screw."

Well, I stared at it.  The foam pit stared back at me.  I kept staring.  Then, Rick Bruno, the hard-charging motivator that he is, came over to me, and said, "you're going through this thing whether you like it or not.  Because I'm going with you."

After a solid minute of talking me into it, I took that plunge.  I jumped in.  I struggled, but I traversed the blocks.  I climbed over them, I climbed through them.  Rick Bruno was with me the whole way. 

I have him to thank as my source of motivation.  As a disciplined squad leader, a devoted father and husband, and one of the hard-chargin' motivators of DDIP-IVMF, he is the reason I made it through yesterday.


Sometimes You're the Fly. Sometimes You're the Windshield.

I'm not sure if it's this weather or what, but something has me down today.  Headache, fatigue, restlessness.  Part of it is stemming from still being hurt to the point where I can't run and I need to run.  I need to feel physical exhaustion.  When I'm physically exhausted, my mind works better.  It's more focused on tasks and not on exerting stored energy.

Yesterday was the Manna Run.  It's when we take food to the local pantry and donate, running the entire way.  It's a good feeling to give, especially when a volunteer is nearly brought to tears from the amount we give (if you have 100 people donate, each person doesn't have to give much to make a difference).

Several DDIPers got together BEFORE THE MANNA RUN, to log a few more miles.  I kept thinking to myself, "I want to run, but I'm still not ready."

So, in an effort to keep the Manna Run (or walk, as it were) interesting for me, I brought the dog.  She needs exercise, and a good 2 miles (to Manna and back to our starting point) would do her good.  So she an I brought up the rear while the rest of the group ran.  Then I thought I could run.  I took a few of those giddyup-steps.

No chance, at all.

The tendon is still sore where the sprain happened, and it's still swollen.  So, at this point, I don't know how long it's going to be before I can get back to doing what I was doing.  All I know is that it's dragging me down, mentally.

I feel like I was making improvements, getting in better shape, slimming down, and then I got whacked with an injury.

Now, I see many of my comrades, friends, fellow DDIPers making wicked improvements, and I can't resist but feeling jealous.  Jealous that I can't charge hard with them, that I'm limited.  I can't even do the sprints that I used to excel at.  It's extremely frustrating.

So, I need something to lift me back up.  Fix my mind back to where it was.  Put me in my place.

I know my setback isn't nearly as bad as other's, such as Lundin or my wife.  But I'm always quick to get down on myself.  I'm the first one.


Getting back.

When you're hurt, your mentality changes.  At least mine does.  I constantly think that I'm going to lose all of my gains and replace them with fails.  I fear that I won't be able to do a pushup.  A sit up.  A squat thrust.

I finally went back to the doctor.  He told me that it was okay to go back to DDIP, but to lay off the high impact exercises and the running for a while.  Three more weeks of no high impact exercises and most likely another month to THREE months of long distance running.  But, he told me to get back on it and do what I could do.

Something in my body told me to take a break.  Let the body rest.  It ended up being a bit longer than I had planned, but for some reason I felt like I needed it.  I started back to class last Friday, officially.  I missed a week and a half of the session.  I made sure I made it to a Drill workout on Friday, and started back to regular workouts on Monday.

The first thing we did was pushups.  I honestly thought that I wasn't going to be able to do them.  And yes, they kind of hurt.  Hurt, in the sense that I couldn't do them.  However, while they were hard, I could do them.  It wasn't impossible.  We did more on Wednesday.  I started feeling that range of motion come back.  I could get all the way down, keep my back straight. 

So, I'm back.  I have to modify a lot of stuff.  I can't do side-straddle hops, I can't run, and I can't jump.  But I can modify.  I can keep the motivation up.  I can keep up with the group. 

While I was "hurt," I started losing that motivation.  I lost that dedication.  But I realized that all I needed was to put one foot in front of the other, make the right steps toward the goal, and not look back. 

It's all about hard work and some determination.  By the end of the summer, I hope to be running again.  Which, when I type that sentence, I can't believe I'm saying it.  I want to get out and put the miles behind me, and see the miles in front of me. 

Long ways to go.  I've come a long way.  One little set back isn't gonna push me down.  I'll push back.